It's not what you think of me that makes me upset, it's what I think you think of me that makes me upset. Jumping to conclusions as a result of mind reading is a dangerous mode of operation, and this usually happens before I'm about to speak to a large group or teach a class. "OMG. Why did I agree to do this?"
Whenever I catch myself beginning to worry about what other people will think of me I try to remind myself that it's all in my head. I'm the one making up the judgmental thoughts I believe they'll be thinking about me. Thank goodness I've found a solution that snaps me out of this, and not just for whenever I'm about to speak or teach. This works whenever I catch myself mind reading and jumping to negative conclusions: I begin to shift the focus from the negative things I'm imagining they'll think of me to thinking loving thoughts of my own towards them.
I get my mind out of a 'getting' mind set and into a 'giving' mind set. When I worry about how people perceive me, or whether or not they'll approve of me, I feel cut off and at a disadvantage, but when I think thoughts of giving love, appreciation and adding value to their lives, I feel connected, confident, and optimistic.
It's simple but it's not always easy to shift gears from worrying about how people will judge me to blessing them. This is when affirmations are helpful. Affirmations make us feel better because they're statements of truth. I've included some here that I use. When choosing affirmations it's best to pick the one that naturally feels like it clicks for you. I like to go with the one that gives me an optimistic boost upon first read. Don't bother with affirmations that you 'think' you 'should' be saying. It defeats the purpose. The affirmation that transforms is the one that feels great just saying it.
Here are some affirmations I've found to be effective.
My soul is filled with divine Love. I am surrounded by divine Love. I radiate Love and Peace to the whole world. God is Love, and all men are expressions of divine Love. The Love of God burns in me for all humanity. I am a lamp of God, radiating divine Love to all whom I meet, to all whom I think of.
–From Around The Year With Emmett Fox
The following are from Your Word is Your Wand by Florence Scovel Shinn
Divine Love, through me, now dissolves all seeming obstacles and makes clear, easy and successful my way.
I love everyone and everyone loves me. My apparent enemy becomes my friend, a golden link in the chain of my good.
I am at peace with myself and with the whole world. I love everyone and everyone loves me. The floodgates of my good now open.
This one is from The Science of Mind, by Ernest Holmes
The Power Within Blesses All
The Power within me is blessing all mankind, and is forever healing all with whom I come in contact. The Power within me is God, and it must bless and help and heal all who come near it. Silently the work goes on, and silently all are being helped by this Inner Power which is operating through me. I will give thanks that my Power within is silently blessing and helping everyone to whom my thought reaches. The life within me blesses all mankind.
–Darrell Fusaro
Source URL: http://ftp.iitaly.org/magazine/focus/op-eds/article/its-not-what-they-think-about-you
Links
[1] http://ftp.iitaly.org/files/40001book-posts-fb-what-if-214401754930png
[2] http://www.darrellfusaro.com
[3] http://www.DarrellandEd.com